What a mixed emotions race. Some of me is happy and most just wants to cry. I mean Finally under 47 again! It took a bunch of races but I finally got under and back to really feeling confident. Also, yet extremely small (0.02),that race was a PB (personal best) for me. So I can't hate on it......but man, that race went went B standard. So it's like getting kicked in the nuts by a really hot girl....who gave you her number. You think, "Awesome, digits"...but "man kick in the nuts"! Big congrats to Geoff Harris who got the second B. Obviously I wish it was me, but he deserves it. He put in solid training and maximized on the races.
My goals haven't changed. I still want to run fast. I'm still aiming for 1:45. My confidence is there. I close hard and am making strong moves in the race. I'm just wasting energy all throughout the race. In and out of the pack, surges to get around people, running the 2nd 400 in lane two.... all these are showing me one thing, GET OUT IN THE TOP 3! I let these guys get in front in the first 200 and when I want to get going, they start going backwards. So it's a mission to get get around them and back with the leaders.
All us track runners want those races that you just follow the train and run fast. The ones where it just pulls you and you run fast. I'm in fast races, just not blazing races so i can't sit back. I need to get out and close hard. That's my thing I need to change.
I still have plenty of races to run fast. I just need to keep maximizing. Like I said I PB'd! Hells ya! You gotta take in the little things. But in reality, no time has been good enough. If it was I'd be hanging the spikes up and drinking margaritas with my "She Devils" having a blast. Haha. That may sound a little jaded but thats how the winners stay winning. Take the race, find the positives, fix what needs fixing, reevaluate and....ON TO THE NEXT ONE!!!!
Tonight felt great. Despite the cold weather and wind, I was ready to run fast. I can't remember much except for the last 200m. I can remember 3 things from that point. 1. Geoff harris goes down
2. We were so bunched up there was nowhere to go
3. I came off the turn and put the hammer down
When I run this late it's freaking hard to sleep so you just think. It sucks thinking about things after. What if i had done this, what about that...bla bla bla. I'm wired from the napping, the caffeine, and pure adrenaline. So i just replay the race over and over. But I have to look at the positive. I know something is there, I feel super confident, and I finished 2nd in a race filled with Olympians, world championship competitors and people with far faster times than me. I raced some good competition and came out pretty well.
SLIGHTLY INNAPROPRIATE TIME
Post race I had my first drug test ever. Immediately after the race a guy comes up and tells me i've been selected. You then have 1hr before you have to check in with him, so you can get your cool down in and such (but you have to stay in site of them). So i finish my cool down and go into the drug test office. I down 4 bottles of water and after 20 min I feel it coming. I grab the cup, the guy follows me in and I pee with him staring at my junk. EXCEPT....I fill up 75ml and you must have 90. So i have to wait another 20min for my girl bladder to reload. Same thing again, the guys follows me in, looks at the goods and I fill a massive 30ml (totaling 95ml...I'm good) I pushed so hard I almost sharted. Hahaha. He then makes me drop the pants to the ankles and lift the shirt to make sure I have notyin to switch/tamper with the bottle then sends me on my way.
What an experience!
Up next is Indiana. Last shot before nationals. I love these close calls. I really feel like a great one is there, but I just can't buy a time. Saturday night, one more time to give it all.
what the fuck was I thinking? I had a simple plan, GET AFTER IT. I was going bang or bust. What did I do...? Fall asleep from 500-600m and let the fast guys gap me. Then I try and finish hard down the homestretch where everyone else did the same. What the fuck?!
Deep down I think I was a little scared. Scared of dying down the homestretch. Who the hell cares. maybe I would have pb'd maybe I would have died. Who knows.... Not me because I didn't commit.
same plan for wednesday but I'm actually going to do it.
