1:47.4...Not the standard

Tonight felt great. Despite the cold weather and wind, I was ready to run fast. I can't remember much except for the last 200m. I can remember 3 things from that point. 1. Geoff harris goes down
2. We were so bunched up there was nowhere to go
3.  I came off the turn and put the hammer down

When I run this late it's freaking hard to sleep so you just think. It sucks thinking about things after. What if i had done this, what about that...bla bla bla. I'm wired from the napping, the caffeine, and pure adrenaline. So i just replay the race over and over. But I have to look at the positive. I know something is there, I feel super confident, and I finished 2nd in a race filled with Olympians, world championship competitors and people with far faster times than me. I raced some good competition and came out pretty well.

SLIGHTLY INNAPROPRIATE TIME
Post race I had my first drug test ever. Immediately after the race a guy comes up and tells me i've been selected. You then have 1hr before you have to check in with him, so you can get your cool down in and such (but you have to stay in site of them). So i finish my cool down and go into the drug test office. I down 4 bottles of water and after 20 min I feel it coming. I grab the cup, the guy follows me in and I pee with him staring at my junk. EXCEPT....I fill up 75ml and you must have 90. So i have to wait another 20min for my girl bladder to reload. Same thing again, the guys follows me in, looks at the goods and I fill a massive 30ml (totaling 95ml...I'm good) I pushed so hard I almost sharted. Hahaha.  He then makes me drop the pants to the ankles and lift the shirt to make sure I have notyin to switch/tamper with the bottle then sends me on my way.

What an experience!

Up next is Indiana. Last shot before nationals. I love these close calls.  I really feel like a great one is there, but I just can't buy a time.  Saturday night, one more time to give it all.

Pissed

what the fuck was I thinking? I had a simple plan, GET AFTER IT. I was going bang or bust. What did I do...? Fall asleep from 500-600m and let the fast guys gap me. Then I try and finish hard down the homestretch where everyone else did the same. What  the fuck?!

Deep down I think  I was a little scared. Scared of dying down the homestretch. Who the hell cares. maybe I would have pb'd maybe I would have died. Who knows.... Not me because I didn't commit.

same plan for wednesday but I'm actually going to do it.

Yes, I'm alive

Whoa it's been a bit since I've logged on here.  I've been MIA since the race in California.  Why, haven't I updated....? In a word, "frustrated".  Basically I've been super frustrated with my season's progression.  I decided to shut down my media distractions thinking it might be a culprit in my over-stressing in races. Since the blog shutdown I've raced one more time which was a 1:47.18.  It was a seasons best and still a top 5 performance for me, so I can't be disappointed with that.  But, like anyone chasing a dream, it's not fast enough.

The Arizona camp is done and I've landed in Victoria, BC.  Lets just be honest, I hate Victoria.  I've seen the sun twice since I've been here and it's rained EVERY DAY!!!  This is the complete opposite to phoenix where it rained twice in 5months.  However, looking at the bright side, this is exactly what to expect in London for weather, so there's that.  Also, I'm rooming with 5 other UVIC girls, which has actually been hilarious.  They're fun, easy going, and are crazy....I forgot how much drama 5 university girls bring with them.  For a guy who loves gossip, let's just say, SEX in the City...you NAILED IT!!!  Sometimes I really miss college. I welcome them anytime to stay with me, in all honesty they really are awesome.

My next race is Sunday on the mainland for the Harry Jerome Track Classic.  This race over the years hasn't been the best to me time-wise but I'm ready for a change.  My body is feeling strong, I know I'm ready to run fast, and I feel a PB (personal best) in me.  My biggest thing is I need to relax.  It's all about fast and controlled.  My California race was the perfect example.  I wanted it TOO bad and fought myself to make it happen.  With 150m to go I rigged up and shuffle stepped it in to a very upsetting performance.

So if I'm going to take anything from this rant it's that I need to stop being a bitch and commit and RACE!!!.....but controlled.  

It'll be broadcasted live all day

Harry Jerome (west coast times)

http://www.flotrack.org/coverage/248652-2012-NTL-Harry-Jerome-International-Track-Classic Click on the watch live button

2:42 Opening Ceremony
2:52 Hammer Throw Women NTL
2:54 400m Women NTL
3:00 400m Men INV
3:04 Long Jump Women NTL
3:04 High Jump Men NTL
3:08 1500m Women NTL
3:16 1500m Men NTL
3:20 Javelin Men NTL
3:24 200m Men NTL PARA
3:30 100m Women INV
3:36 100m Men NTL
3:40 Jerome Outreach Award Presentations
3:48 800m Women NTL
3:56 800m Men NTL
4:04 100m Hurdles Women NTL

Smitty out-